I have only been on this earth for 24 years, but I feel like the earth and I are good friends. It seems like time after time good old mother nature likes to remind me of my mortality and how fast your world can change. Perhaps it is my upbringing in the mountains that makes me feel so small. In the day I would see the large majestic mountains and during the night there is nothing to obscure the billions of stars in the sky. Perhaps it is my experience around pain and suffering that causes me to think that life can change in a matter of seconds. Watching four of my friends almost be killed over a stupid decision to drift around dirt corners next to a river wakes you up those thoughts we all must face about our own lives. Perhaps as I first held my two boys, those two small flickers of new life, thoughts of how fragile they were filled my mind. Perhaps those feelings of hopelessness come as I watch movies that depict scenes of terror and the end of the human race. Perhaps I am filled with the feeling of insignificance as I read books with characters that go above and beyond to accomplish things they never knew they could do.
On the other hand, something inside me tells me that life is precious and that it should be celebrated. Something in my heart tells me to enjoy the moments of peace and of joy because those are the gems of my existence. Perhaps it was when I understood my oldest son’s first word and his face lit up with the brightest smile, consequently filling my soul, if you believe in such a thing, with blinding joy. Perhaps it is when I found out that my four friends would live and that there would be no lasting damage to their brains or otherwise so they could continue to be happy and reach their goals. Perhaps when I look up at the night sky I am filled with awe and wonder and when I look at the mountains I see clarity and the desire to climb to the top. Perhaps as I watch apocalyptic movies I am filled with hope watching the survivors fight all odds to live and make a happier future for themselves. Perhaps I am filled with desire to reach my goals and go above and beyond to accomplish when I read books with amazing characters.
This is a small glimpse into my contemplative brain.